Using psychology to develop characters: Agreeableness

Agreeable vs. Disagreeable Personalities

To be agreeable or to be disagreeable. . . that is the question.

This is one of the more interesting personality traits IMO. Just like one would associate positively with someone conscientious vs. conscientious, neurotic vs. low in neuroticism, one would rather be agreeable rather than disagreeable. Interestingly enough, agreeableness is not linked with success in most long-term studies.

So, what are the characteristics of an agreeable person? An agreeable person is highly-collaborative—often to the point that they would rather see themselves suffer rather than the other person in the negotiation suffer. They are generally considered kind and polite. The downside: they can also become victims of abuse and be dominated by their partners.

A disagreeable person is general considered the opposite. They can be harsh and direct. They know what they want and will not sacrifice to get it. Now people at the far end of the disagreeable spectrum often end up in prison. If, however, they can be disagreeable and still follow the rules of society, they find themselves in roles of entrepreneurship landing jobs at the head of companies as the CEO. It’s this ‘not settling for less’ personality that has allowed them to get to the top while their more agreeable counter-parts are left still trying to get along with everyone.

I have a very agreeable personality by nature, but I have been working to become more disagreeable as time goes on. During my time working as a nurse, I found my agreeable nature was taken advantage of by my employers that would seek to have us working long, unreasonable hours without breaks. They knew most nurses were agreeable souls looking to ‘help people’ and knew they would not complain and see it as ‘their duty.’

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To make matters worse, often these agreeable martyrs would then climb the ranks in the agency. After sacrificing themselves in unhealthy ways to the company and their patients, they would then seek to make sure all of their underlings and the ones who came behind them to do the same thing. If you complained about the long hours or refused to take a dangerous workload of unstable patients, you were looked down upon and considered to be someone who did not do their part. If you want to make agreeable people angry—refusing to be ‘part of the team’ is the way to go.

So with the knowledge in mind, I wrote one of my main character in SURVIVING MIDAS to be very disagreeable and the other to be the opposite. Jared just can’t seem to get along with anybody which can work to his benefit and detriment. Yeah, he struggles with interpersonal relationships, but he also has managed to stay alive despite the odds.

Katie though, is constantly looking out for others to the point of foolish self-sacrifice. She's polite, kind, and gets along great with the others in her community, even bringing together people who would not normally get along. Then I stuck Katie and Jared in a car trunk together and let them sort out their differences.

So this is something to consider when you’re writing your characters. Is your character more agreeable or less agreeable? How does that manifest? Is it causing drama, or is it something you've not considered in the slightest as it concerns your main characters?

Tell me in the comments below, and also tell me what that looks like. If a bully comes by and demands their food, do they hand it over without question? Or if someone says something mildly insulting, do they demand to take the altercation outside? Really figure out these things about your characters and stay true to it. Your story will thank you!

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